One of the worst feelings in the word is probably disappointment. Disappointment in yourself, in your passion. A destructive feeling, as hollow as it is reckless. Eats you up from within yet you feel nothing. Darkness swallowing your organs and a dead emptiness. Stop there.
Why are you disappointed? Could you not meet up to someone’s expectations? Your own?
What happened to the initial joy you felt painting on that canvas. Or running your fingers up that piano. Or even getting that math problem correct. This whole world is convoluted like our vision. Wait, think, who do we live for? Ourselves, our loved ones, those who would be happy for us no matter what we could prove. Throw out this stupid disappointment from your mind.
The results did not match up to the happiness, the hope you got from it initially, but so what? Is it not that happiness that counts. You’ve got your whole life ahead to sculpt. Shape it with journeys and joys. Maybe you painted with feelings as potent and vast as the ocean and still someone ridiculed it. LET IT GO you did create art, you painted yourself with all your flaws. That, no one can understand, including you.
Okay, so you thought you would do better? Stop your torrential crying. What do you judge yourself against? The thoughts that go behind yours will forever remain undecipherable and that’s beautiful. DO IT ALL FOR YOURSELF nothing else is worth it.
Let the pain fall back, roll it of your shoulders and out of your heart. Whatever you put effort into, no matter how hideous it seems to be, will always be worth it. The sweat, the tears, the sleeplessness may all seem pointless then. But what the heck? For those moments you were fire and you desired.
Disappointment is a waste of life. I have no idea what I’m trying to get across. Just never think you aren’t good enough. Fail if it happens, and fail happily because it doesn’t matter. This life is about you and if you couldn’t make someone else happy, let them rot. Make yourself happy. Disappointment in yourself can always be TURNED TO ANGER which will drive you across hell thrice only to achieve your own happiness.
I think its beautiful if you spend your time painting happily but then tossing it into the trash because you didn’t like the end. That’s only life. KEEP YOUR PASSION FIERCE.
There will always be people who don’t like what you’ve done and you’ll always be on of them. Don’t hurt yourself, there’s whole waiting to puncture you.
So i hope, when you feel this discouraged you curl up to some Alex Turner, a book, some blanket and wake up ready to roll out all the negativity and really fly.
I just got my igcse art grade: an A after dreaming for months and nights of an A* that would make me so happy. I was so shaken up and almost lost my confidence because I’ve always believed i was one of the few who could manage an A*.
I still don’t believe I’m wrong.
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